Welcome to the Fernandez-Tubay Family eHub!

Family connotes different meaning to different philosophies. But I can firmly say ours is the traditionally accepted norm.

We can compare our family to the popular peanut brittle (one of my favourite snacks) from the City of Pines Baguio City, Philippines – it takes a lot of sweetness to hold the few nuts together. From the roots to the fruits, take a look at our brood (with 4 kids in tow some hinted family planning is in the offing – but we have already sorted it out).

We are a diverse unit where the meaning of family is not only limited to parents and kids but we are composed not only of awesomely smart, oftentimes demanding (if they can get away with it!) but beautiful and loving children (2 girls and 2 boys in this order; add to that of a strongly resolute responsible leading man, a highly supportive and determined gorgeous sweet lady, a regular visiting pet (a deceptive scrawny cat from the neighbors - well we don't know who owns her!) or an occasional visit from a friend or a couple of friends. We have taken residence in a new land but we still keep in contact with close relatives and friends in the Philippines and around the world - particularly to our extended families - moms, uncles, cousins - thanks to Facebook and emails, celphones and texts, yahoo messenger and skype and everything internet.

Where the usual questions are – ‘Can I watch TV pleaaaaassee?!’, or ‘Can I play Wii…?!’, ‘Can I use the computer…?!’ – with cheeky smiles on their faces and give us the dreamy eye with batting eyelashes (well they know the drill anyway – before I fall into that – they should tell me why I want to allow them to do it – have they done their school assignments? How about their share of household chores? Is the weather good – have they played outside? If they answer a resounding YES! in chorus then they can).

We easily accepted the fact that there is no way we can live without each other, so we just live together sharing the same stale air inside the abode, sometimes spying on kid’s hidden activities (when them kids are quiet, the room doors are closed – mark my words – there is something going on for sure !) The day is never complete without sharing of stories and experiences at school or in the library or what they did when they had sleepovers with their friends into someone else’s house or after church meetings and activities – what them kids think about things that bother or concerns them. Where kids don’t get bored easily (there is so much to do! – I mean so much time to play !) – well – if they do – they will just fire you with questions, sometimes out of the blue – like ‘Can I eat ?!’, ‘What’s the meaning of this (and that etc)?!’ and frequently asking ‘Who the heck farted?!’.

I have never experienced different kinds of hugs – only from my sweet Angel Anne – who clearly defined and distinctively showed the difference between a regular hug (just want a hug), a welcome home hug, an ‘it’s alright’ hug, a ‘thanks for trying’ hug, ‘that’s good’ hug, ‘congratulations!’ hug, a goodnight hug, a long hug, a short hug, and so on. Makes no difference to me but I surely am stoked at her amazing special personality. At times they try to outsmart and outrace against each other who gets the first hug when I come home from work. In the morning, they will be spying me opening our door and Angel will try to get the first hug ahead of the boys. And even outwit each other on who gets the looooongest hug!

Surely makes my day everytime and I’m loving every moment of it knowing they will be gone sooner or later to live on their own. Abigail expresses herself differently and it’s the way that she is. She has the making of a leader in her own right. That’s her personality and I simply love her for being her. The boys - Aaron and Aemrich - just complement the girls in all of it. Most of the time they are full of zest with their twinkling eyes and tickling laughs and at times mischievously funny. They are so special and nothing in the world could ever compare to the warmth of their smiles and the sound of their gleeful countenance. I really love each and everyone of them in subtle ways - as they are a bunch of differing personalities.. They are all my precious gems. There are times just knowin they are around is more than enough to give me confident peace and unspoken joy as I lay in my bed trying to calm myself from the day's demanding role.

Weekends and schoolholidays makes us all look forward to going out to enjoy the marvellous refreshing and pleasurable gratifying appreciation of the Garden City (Christchurch) family outdoor activities – walking the graveled tracks and boardwalks, playing and picnics in pristine and well-maintained parks, patiently comb the river banks for much coveted fishing spots, barefooted stroll at the beach esplanade while deliciously licking a slow-melting ice cream cone in one hand, roam the city centre (window shopping - hoping to jackpot bargains! - or watch movies) – or simply a ramble dabble down the nearest reserve or even just set a tent in the backyard or play on the ripstick, scooters, bicycles etc. We also get invited to friend’s places or to meet at certain locations for catch ups and cultivate the friendships further. There is so much to do and enjoy – and if we do it together – it’s priceless. If the weather don’t cooperate, not to miss out on anything - we can stay at home for movie nights, chips and dips (got you there!), play Scrabble, or UNO, or Pictionary, or Bogle, etc – or do Maths (Mathletics - online) and reading with them kids, or help mom bake mmmmm goodies… At other times everyone lazily or leisurely does his/her own thing (reading, computer games (Wii, etc), fiddling on the piano, learn a new song on the guitar, surfing the net, sleeping!, etc) - oh did I forget the TV?! - and instinctively meet at the dining table or if really really desperate, raid the pantry - for a much needed recharging meal of the day!

Whenever everyone of them kids are around, our home is filled with shrieks of laughter, shouts of joy, and – uh – fights over from nonsense to trivial matters! Oftentimes we think we are the noisiest bunch in the quiet neighbourhood… Since everyone of us is unique – we have different interests and opinions and food tastes and TV programs, but like stout branches on a thriving tree and most likely we will grow in many different directions, yet each will always be a special part of the other. There will always be that special connection not defined by anything else but by a special bond. It's not being right, not being in the right place, not even who we are - but who's we are. That creates that unseen but heartfelt invisible elastic strong link between the souls and spirit-kindreds. 

 And respect for each other’s interest boundaries is paramount. We are a safe place to be. And we keep it that way. We recognize our faults and accept one another unconditionally. There will always be challenges in dealing with one another’s personality, shortcomings and inherent differences. But understanding and acceptance prevails. Forgiveness is a healthy atmosphere. It’s love no matter what. Total acceptance even if and despite of. We never worry about being perfect but we wholeheartedly accept that we are all WIPs – work-in-progress – and continuously polish our way towards it. That coherence of thoughts keep us afloat and to everyone of us there is more than meets the eye (did I read this somewhere?!).

Sailing on – we have been in the rough, in the smooth, in want, in abundance, in the cold, in the sorrows, in the joys – in everything. Things come and go. People come and go. Experiences come and go. That's pretty normal. It’s a way of life I guess. But we will keep the bond of belongingness and need for each other's uniqueness in its deepest essence. We will live on and continue to live on knowing we always have each other all the time. Nothing can separate the binding unwritten agreement we have carved in our hearts. We expect and willingly accept changes as they come. And we change as we enjoy change. Where we make mistakes – slight or unintended – get over it and move on is the standard.

Where the biggest room at home is the room for improvement. Of course family support is never questioned – it’s readily given – everyone can count on it and it’s always available. Life is fun and easy – where love and compassion is nurtured there is reciprocity. And everyday is a special inescapable gift.

Accomplishments, no too small, are highly appreciated. We enjoy everyone’s company though at times when the going gets roughy tough you’d be tempted to think when do I get a breather?! Current victories are sweetly celebrated with funfare and heartfelt hugs and the nicest words of appreciation and more inspiration.

Self-discipline, making wise choices and self-reliance is strongly encouraged. And practiced as we tread along the shifting highways of everyday. One faith, one goal, one love... As is and always, things will change but we start and end with them. And we gladly welcome and anticipate with hopeful expectations the unending possibilities the future may bring.

And we faithfully acknowledge the importance of our outside walls - where you - yes all of you - our specially wonderful friends and relatives from all corners of the earth - you will always be a part of our lives, forever etched in our memories - we will always treasure and will reside in a special place in our hearts! We hope we have been of a helpful influence in making your world for even just a little bit better. We accept you as you are and it doesn't matter at all if it's a differing opinion. Please join us in reliving our colourful past as we thread through our everyday life and in riding our wonderful exciting journey to the expectedly promising and eager future.

What more can I say?

Now and in the end, my family will always be my solace – my zen of peace and joy… Our family is not at all perfect but with stubborn love and gentle care – the world is so much better to live in!

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